Dear You

Welcome to my head. What I write here is a product of instances, consequences, coincidences, and heartache. Here before you is my soul- my inner trappings. Yours truly, Her.

Monday, September 29, 2008

What a Weekend

Training Tuesday night- had to learn frontwalk and butterfly for the gig on thursday O_O sorta injured my left pinkie toe hahaha :|

Wednesday morning, sprained my ankle during PE... stepped on a volleyball :| another injury haha

Training on Thursday morning till my class started at 11:20. worked on my frontwalk till i injured my ankle again. Coach made me do an usher instead...which I executed well in one day thanks to the Lord :)

Then Sayaw Para Kay Tara Event in Bela Bar, San Juan. It was a charity event to raise money for an Atenean student, Tara, who got held up and shot in the head in a jeep on the eve of her birthday. Saw Tetel! I swear, that girl is blessed with the gift of dance :) The place was full of very talented and gifted dancers! I was so awed at how good they were. We were so blessed to have performed and to have helped Tara in her expenses. Please pray for her speedy recovery! I heard she's out of the ICU and is fighting. Please let's all pray for her health and her family and friends!

Friday, I rode with Server and Luj to Alabang for Rav, Isa, and Alex's 18th party. I asked last minute from my mom that morning lang XD I was planning to sleep over too so I packed that time na rin XD Hannah, my blockmate, is a saviour for lending me her white clothes for the party! hahaha So yes, rode to Alabang, worked on Alex's birthday video, dressed up, left, arrived. Party Party! I finally saw Arya and Ingga! Basta, I saw old friends again and it was such a great feeling to catch up and spend time together that night. Especially with someone I've had a lot of faults against...yeah, you probably know who it is. He's up there in one of the pics. haha. We had a moment out there in the curb. :) Just pure catching up.

It's a blast to hang with the South people. Especially AFTER the party. MAN. WHAT AN AFTER PARTY. A combination of Tokyo Drift, The Hills, The OC, and Laguna Beach. Let's just say that a fight almost happened and that 7 cars were chasing each other in Ayala Alabang Village in the wee hours of the morning. IT'S WILD- a scene out of the forementioned tv shows. XD hahaha, whoooo! It was such an experience. O_O

After the wildness that was Friday night, I rode home with Wanie along with Arya. Tita Cindy, Wanie's mom treated us to Chowking and I tasted there milk tea for the first time. It wasn't bad but I preferred the one in Taft, Zen Tea. haha. And so, we bummed and recovered hours of sleep that were missed due to the drama last night. Arya left soon and later, Wanie and I got ready to watch the dance competition that both of our dance teams were part of. It was in Spotlight in Makati. We passed by Rockwell first to get some dinner. Congrats to everyone! CADS- 3rd, LSDC-2nd, UST- 1st.

Next day, it was the Skechers Elims. I was supposed to go but I wasn't allowed. Time to rest. And I SO AGREED.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Dead Tired II

Finally! I have time to update you guys :)

Ok, last weekend, I had my Street teambuilding all the way in Tagaytay in our team member's house named Dona. The place that she lives in is like a compound of houses that are narrow and side-by-side. There's a guardhouse before you enter the compound. Across the street from it, there's the clubhouse with the pool, golf course, and playground.

The house is cozy and small. 3 floors. The team of 35 slept mostly in the attic while the Executive Board had rooms at the second floor. The kitchen, living room, and dining room were all downstairs. Moreover, the family of Dona owned the house next to their neighbor's house so using the bathroom won't be a problem for a team this big. Some could use the other house's bathrooms to take a bath and stuff. At the attic, there were several sofa beds and matresses laid out. The aircon wasn't working on the first night but it was alright. Tagaytay weather is cold.

Our teambuilding was full of Devotion sessions and activities that revolved around God. It brought us back to basics of Street. LSDC- La Salle Dancers For Christ. We had an Amaze-King Race. We were given a story of a King from the bible and we had to finish tasks and be the first ones to finish. Everything was really revolved on Him. Well, except for the food preparations. We were grouped and had 4 members.. Each group was assigned to a country. They were American [breakfast], Italian [lunch], Chinese [merienda], Meditteranean [dinner], Pinoy [breakfast], and lastly, Japanese [lunch] My group was assigned to the MEDITTERANEAN. We were thinking kebab but we were given only an HOUR to prepare but we needed more than that. So yeah, we had a dilemma. Plus, we had to split costs. It was literally like one of those classes of Ms. Nunez in Home Economics were she was making kwento already about the prices of the food in the palengke and such. As in, I felt like a housewife XD But it was such a good experience. My dad wanted me to take the reigns and guide the group with my ''cooking expertise''. HAH. I'm not good really. Either the food is too hilaw or too other words burnt and hard. XD The food thing was a contest. The EB wanted it to be bongga- complete with menu, decorations, appetizer, main course, dessert, drinks, and service! WHEW! Grabe sila hahahaha. But it's all good. Super fun hahaha

Now that I've laid down some details, I shall narrate:

I had class that day from 9:20am till 4:40pm. Meet up was in Mcdo. The first car would be leaving at 5:30pm and I'd be leaving with them. The EB assigned car assignments and I was to ride with James Roy. We're buddy buddy now. He's not all that bad. Very opinionated, friendly, and articulate. I was with 2 other newbies, Jero, and Gela. Gela and I are lesbian lovers IN THEORY. hahaha! Jero has mad skillz. James and I say that coz he's so quiet and shy around street and he rarely speaks up. James took the opportunity to interview us while he was driving and we discovered a whole lotta stuff about Jero enough to say that he's got MAD SKILLZ hahaha. So anyway, Gela and I were in the same food group and we had ZERO ingredients. We got to Mcdo around 5 and left quickly to grab some stuff in Harrison. We didn't notice the time passing until Kuya Gino, our vice- company manager and Kuya RJ, our company manager, started calling and texting us. I swear, they're like a Mrs. Eala to me. I get scared when they talk to me HAHAHA. That's what I call intimidation mehn. So yeah, they told us to take a pedicab back coz they were waiting for us nalang. I texted James coz I thought he was there already waiting for us too. But pala, he wasn't there himself so we were kinda confused coz the EB had a different car assignment so we were like, why are they waiting for us pa? So anyway, we hurried back and found out that the EB left already but James arrived already. Thus, we were on our way with a roadtrip soundtrack care of James' iTouch. I should ask him for his songs. They were really good.

Stop over! Ate dinner in Jollibee with my car peeps plus Job, Martin, Trish, and Brent. Martin keeps teasing me and saying I'm a loser. hahaha. I tease him back by making an issue with Rash. they ''supposedly'' have a thing, which is all joke- products of our boredom and kalokohan. XD

Finally! We arrive! We waited for the other cars to get there and started our first Devo session. After that, freshening up and preparing for lights out. That night, the senior, junior and newbie members had a late night scary story telling session. Bonding time! We were all clumped up in one corner of the attic with our blankets around us trying to stay close and inside the circle. hahaha, you know how chilly it gets when you're part of the outside people in the circle. you get the chills XD hahahaha.

The next day, breakfast time. Had a game before the 2nd session. Bonded again with music! I swear, it was like a karaoke bar in the attic XD. James brought a guitar kasi haha.

Lunch. Then the Amaze-King Race. We were first all the way through until the second to the last task where we had to pick a key from a bowl of other keys to unlock the lock that was tying the balloon with the next clue in it from getting out. The other team caught up with us, James' team. But there were so many complications that the EB had to sit down and talk about the winner. hahaha! I swear, that game was like CONDITIONING TIMES 5. We were running from one end of the village to the clubhouse! In addition, the weather was COLD and it drizzled for sometime! WHOO, whatta race. I really ran like my life depended on it. XD To the point that after the race, I was nahihilo and I couldn't walk properly or even maintain my balance without my shins and ankles hurting HAHAHAHA

Our group went to the market in Tagaytay to buy the other ingredients we missed. For that, we missed free time and another bonding Chinese merienda haha. We were clueless about what to serve for dessert so I brought them to a bakery shop and bought the choco roll that looked meditteranean XD We just drizzled chocolate syrup and added walnuts. We cooked and prepared until alas! Meditteranean cuisine: Zuchinni soup, Greek meatballs with tomato sauce, tuna salad, and hot oven-fresh bread. :)

After dinner, another session. We were all tired and people were falling asleep. But we tried our best to stay awake. Kuya Benj surprised us a few minutes after! He followed us to tagaytay :)

And yeap, another late-night bonding session. This time with massages since our bodies were hurting from the race XD Gela, Martin, and I were the main masseus. And we didn't stay up as late since we all terribly needed rest.

And so, breakfast the next day , and Joke-pardy game which we were losing tremendously. :)) hahaha. Later, we were packing and getting ready to leave. Then lunch! Japanese! They won first by the way :| We were last HAHAHA. After that, we newbies took a shower at the other house. I was in the bathroom at the ground floor while the others were upstairs. I already stripped down to my undies but I still had my shirt on. When I looked up, tamang-tama I saw JOB LOOKING AT ME FROM THE WINDOW THAT WAS OPEN.


He didn't see anything though. He apologized after XD OHMEHGAHD. I felt so violated in some way ahahahaha!!! but it was a funny experience for the both of us. We were like family anyway. :) So, after putting down the blinds, i took a shower, packed, then left.

Stop over again!! This time I had Pancake House! whoo!! My all-time fave golden brown waffle :D I felt like Street was such a family, eating together and laughing in KFC, taking wacky I never felt so...right. And like I belonged. God put me here for a reason like Coach said. :) And so, we all left again...on our way to taft, the drop-off point. I fell asleep in James' car on the way. AND I SWEAR IT TOOK US LIKE LESS THAN 30 MINUTES. I was like...We're here already?!!? hahaha. Parang I cloesd my eyes and the next thing I know we were in Mcdo na

Before the magical weekend officially ended, we prayed before everyone went their seperate ways. We all hugged like a family. The atmosphere was just SO DIFFERENT from before. It really showed how God was with us during the weekend. :) Praise God! I give thanks :)

I thank God for giving me Street. I've grown so much in such a small span of time. Let us glorify the Lord! :) We are La Salle Dancers for Christ!!

Monday, September 15, 2008

Dead Tired

too tired to type anything and recount the past few days.

that's how tired i am.

i lack several hours of sleep

goodnight friends

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

And It All Came Crashing Down

Goes to show how life can be a bitch and slap you at the face right when you least expect it. I had so many blessings that day and so many things to be thankful for. My teachers this term are better and my schedule isn't so laidback. I got used to how things run in Street and I took a risk by making myself vulnerable to the other members. I put down my wall and shared my thoughts, my problems, my fears. Coach led Devotion and she bombarded us with questions that made me really think about my life in its entirety. What was my purpose in life? What does God want me to do? What will I be doing passionately for the next 10 years? What unique trait sets me apart from others based on my life experiences? Coach said that we all had greatness in us and that we are all unique. Each of us has a purpose and that at our young age, we should be thinking about it. We only have one lifetime.


One Lifetime to discover my purpose
One Lifetime to pursue it
One Lifetime to dedicate it to

I was out in space, in the heavens, searching and conversing with divine matter, trying to find answers to Coach's questions. I'm sure I would've been a lot closer to them by now if only I wasn't abruptly pulled back into reality.

My mom quit her job.
We're selling the house.

These two things have drastic implications in my family's life. I just can't bring myself to say them because if I do, I'm scared that they might end up coming true.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Breathing Down My Neck

What can you possibly expect under this condition? Have you ever been alone in a crowded room when I'm here with you? It was me and you, and the whole town underwater and there was nothing we could do.

I wish I could turn the hands of time and take out the dagger that pierced your heart. I would have filled it up and stitched it with my bare hands. The hands that held yours that dark blue night. I would have whispered "I miss you" in return and hugged you closer under the stars, not caring that we had friends watching us. I would have called you my prince charming when you called me your sleeping beauty. I would have stayed up every night and not accidentally fall asleep on you with my cellphone in hand. I would have said that I liked you too when you whispered in my ear how much you liked me a lot on the dancefloor.

Most of all, I would've kissed you goodnight outside your car when you brought me home. And the few days after that when you surprised me with purple flowers and white roses on Valentine's Day. I would've done all these things...

if only I knew better.
If only I knew what you wanted.
If only I wasn't such a runner.
If only I paused and realized that you were willing to take it slow and not that you didn't see anything for us.
If only I didn't make excuses because I had no other way to deal.

It's too late. I let you slip away. I'm sure you've moved on. You've made your own closure. I haven't made mine...or rather found it. I saw that you emptied yourself of any feelings for me. I can't say I did the same. I've always liked you. From afar. Discreetly. I see it now. Those who came after you weren't you. It's either there's no one like you, or I haven't found the one who would outshine you and make me move one.

The one thing that crushes my heart is the fact that the only thing I can do, is just wish. Coz it's the closest to the real thing. We can't go back to the way it was. We can never be again. I know i hurt you too much. You'd never think to invest any feelings to the girl who broke your heart. You don't deserve someone like me. I agree...

But God! How I wish otherwise!! How I wish
That you weren't over me.
That last night made you think twice.
That you still liked me.

But it can never happen. Never.

But let's be friends. We skipped that part. Maybe...just maybe, we can start things up once again. But if not, I would know you better to know why.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Running With Empty Pockets

I'm running down a road at 200 miles per hour with nothing but a quarter full of gas. Every city and town, a destination, stops to be taken to stock for the long travel to my future. Every detour, an obstacle. I encounter dozens and each one that I take, the meter decreases. Next thing I know, I'm empty.

:T I'm sorry for being such a parasite. I am. Don't deny it. It makes me feel so...walang kwenta everytime. I'm VERY thankful that you're such a great friend but I don't know, I'm thankful, really, I am, but it just makes me feel uncomfortable. It's really a load of my chest whenever you help me out but I'm scared that I'd really depend on you already. I OWE YOU BIG TIME. I really do. Please let me do whatever I can to return the numerous favors you do for me. :)

Monday, September 1, 2008


I feel sick right now. I was out the whole day claiming my course cards. I don't know why but i woke up early for it. Plus, I felt fine. I don't know why I'm feeling so sick right now. I got the chills and the sweats. And my right eye hurts...I hope it's not another damn sty. I ALWAYS get stys. Geez. :| And I'm soooo tired. Why am I tired?? I haven't been training nga eh. And I SHOULD train. I feel like I'm behind. Besides, I should be keeping my stamina up coz coach made me understudy for a compe team member for the Avalanche competition on September. I'll be performing in my team member's place for the kick-off party but not in the competition mismo. Good thing yun lang muna. I don't think I'm prepared for the compe team eh...I feel like I should improve on my skills more...not to mention nail my aerial. I have to FOCUS. It's all about FOCUS. Focus, Ikat. Set your eyes on the treasure, arrr... hahaha.

After course card, I had to get home, eat lunch, then leave for the Dentist. They're gonna do adjustments and blah blah. So to add to the sickness, my teeth hurt. I can't chew properly without feeling the hurt. Ugh. I like to eat pa naman. Haaay. I won't be surprised if I suddenly faint during training or something for not being able to eat. Sana hinde. I have to catch up pa.

Grabe. My eye.
It's throbbing like a mother.

Anyhoo, putting all that bad energy aside, I shall reveal to you my grades :D

Bibstud- 2.5 [HAH. it's the absences hahaha]
Natsca- 2.5 [Damn cellphone]
Filip11- 3.0 [WHOOO. I'm so happy! I thought I'd get a 2!]
History- 3.0
Poligov- 3.5
Gepsych- 3.5
Pe- 3.5
Ordev- haven't gotten it haha

Whooo, I'm on Dean's List BEBEH
I am expecting my new phone hahaha.

Yours Truly

Yours Truly