Dear You

Welcome to my head. What I write here is a product of instances, consequences, coincidences, and heartache. Here before you is my soul- my inner trappings. Yours truly, Her.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Pitter Patter On The Rooftop

You can listen to the rhythm of the raindrops
I wish the sun would come instead
This is a song for rainy days

And Let's go dance around in the rain
Don't pay any attention to the people staring from inside
We'll leave our cares behind

It felt good seeing your concern for my health. I had fun reminiscing our childhood with Santa and our christmas traditions too. :) 

Bad Luck On Halloween

Yesterday, I got another sprain on the same leg that I got sprained when I tripped on a volleyball. This time, I tripped on my teammate's foot while dancing. 

Today, I got sick. Fever and body pains. I had no energy whatsoever to commute home so I had to have the car pick me up.

Bad luck on Halloween. I had plans with Paula and Loupo tonight but because of these events, I couldn't go. I'm sorry guys. I know you're pissed. Please understand that I am not making this up. If I could go, then I would. But my body's has reached its peak I guess. It's trying to tell me to rest. I'm really sorry.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Thought # 7

Do you ever think, when you're all alone, what we could be, where this thing could go?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
Has it ever crossed your mind? When we're hanging, spending time together...?

- Crush, David Archuleta

Monday, October 27, 2008

Dark Blue

I have (I have) you breathing down my neck (breathing down my neck)
I don't (don't know) what you could possibly expect under this condition so
I'll wait (I'll wait) for the ambulance to come (ambulance to come)
Pick us up off the floor
What did you possibly expect under this condition so

Slow down.. this night's a perfect shade of
Dark blue (dark blue)
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room when I'm here with you
I said the world could be burning and burning down
Dark blue (dark blue)
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room? Well I'm here with you
I said the world could be burning 'til there's nothing but dark blue..
Just dark blue

This flood (this flood) is slowly rising up swallowing the ground
Beneath my feet, Tell me how anybody thinks under this condition so
I'll swim (I'll swim) as the water rises up, the sun is sinking down
And now all I can see are the planets in a row
Suggesting it's best that I slow down

This night's a perfect shade of
Dark blue (dark blue)
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room when I'm here with you
I said the world could be burning (burning) down
Dark blue (dark blue)
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I'm here with you
I said the world could be burning dark blue

We were boxing
We were boxing the stars
We were boxing (we were boxing)
You were swinging for Mars
And then the water reached the West Coast
And took the power lines (the power lines)
And it was me and you (this could last forever)
And the whole town under water
There was nothing we could do
It was dark blue

Dark blue (dark blue)
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I'm here with you
I said the world could be burning (burning) down
Dark blue
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I'm here with you
I said the room could be burning now there's nothing but dark blue

If you've ever been alone in the dark blue
If you've ever been alone you'll know (you'll know)

It's so funny how this song reminds me of him and it reminds him of me

Sunday, October 26, 2008

What's this?

Friday night:

"Ah, I see your point XD so that means if I watch you're gonna watch wit me XD"

"Aw, sayang O.o fine, I'll invite when I get the details :p"

WHAT IS THIS? I really don't know but I know one thing; it fueled the fire. Which could be bad. The weather's unpredictable; it could rain any day.

Friday, October 24, 2008


Wednesday couldn't have come any sooner.

Tuesday was a blur. I felt like I was on auto-pilot and I was crouched in the deep recesses of my cockpit, being all embarrassingly giddy and excited while my body mechanically executes the usual-daily-routine-that-is-school. When have I ever felt like this? I'm sure as hell that I don't want to be one of them teenagers whose over-giddiness leads them to think that they're invincible just because they found their 'true love'. Of course, my cynicism will never leave me. It's a defense mechanism. My Paternal Parental Unit is very effective in displaying common place affections. :T I should know. But the IRONY of it all! I HOPE. I HOPE LIKE I'VE NEVER HOPED BEFORE. It's sickening! I disgust myself! I know it'll lead to nothing. For who could commit the same mistake? I'm a mess and no one would have me. [JESUS CHRIST. Now I'm PITYING myself! How low can I get??] But let's get one thing straight: true love? I am definitely on grey area when it comes to that.


It was lunch break and I left the SDA to accompany my blockmates to eat in some new eating place along the street.To cut the unnecessaries, Artu's gig was about to start and he was there in the 'fancy caf', as he calls it, waiting for our mutual friend to go on. I couldn't contain that disgusting giddy smile from creeping up. I couldn't help it. I was a human subject to emotional kinetics. [if there is such a term] Thus, I proceeded and left a mere ''I'm going to see my friend in the caf" for my blockmates to gnaw on. If I had told them who came, they probably would've have come along and not eaten. So I let them have their much needed nourishment. I care kasi. :P

As I walked along the hallway leading to the 'HSM' caf, questions were coming at me from an unknown insignificant place. How will you see him through the crowd? You might look dumb just standing there and looking around... What will you say?? Will he mind me at all or will his South friends entertain him and I'll be OP? Should I stay for just awhile or wait till my next class starts? What is he thinking??? By the time that last question popped up, I had found him amidst the people and greeted him with a beso. XD Soon after, we were comparing the facilites of our respected schools and battling against which one is cooler. My unease disappeared from his laidback attitude. It was a normal conversation; no awkwardness; we even had a few laughs. :)

Until Server brought up her 18th birthday party. She said that she wanted everyone to bring dates. I knew where this was headed. I heard it from Rav that morning but I didn't believe it.

"Ikat, you're taking Josue"

I couldn't bring myself to look at his reaction! My face was contorted with numerous expressions that tried to break the surface, trying to show a mask and the other flesh. I don't know if he noticed. I was too busy straightening my facade. :)) hahaha. I swear, with him around, it's like I'm more of an introvert than I have ever been in my whole life XD After what seemed like 5 minutes, the atmosphere relaxed...well, at least for me. I don't know if they sensed my tension. haha

As they say, all good things must end right? I had to tear myself away from him to attend class. Duh, I'm still responsible. However, it surprised me that he still wanted to be with me [or at least that's what I'm telling myself? hahaha] He wanted to see the classrooms. Too bad God had more things in store for me because he only reached till the 11th floor. haha. The elevator was fully loaded. He texted me after saying that I'll show him the classrooms next time. So there will be a next time? :) Sorry, can't help but smile! [Jesus, I'm such a wimp :T haha]

That's not all that made me smile, we had another conversation through sms about the 'dates' thing that Server mentioned. I said I was ok with the idea of him being my date. And he said, "Same here :)" whooooooooo! Our conversation didn't end there! We had a YM conversation that night too!

I shouldn't have this much hope in me. I'm so convinced that this won't end how I want it to end. It never ends the right way. Not with me hahahaha

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Heels Over Head

Now I'm heels over head, I'm hanging upside down- Boys Like Girls

God always sends me a saving grace to pull me out of my pit of depression and frustration. And in the back of my head, I had a gut feeling of it's arrival. It was nagging me, reminding every time my head was not filled with math problems, economic data, and cultural concepts. It was like a thought bubble suddenly inflated by some mysterious breath and expanded until it filled every nook and cranny of my consciousness. It was a good feeling. Sort of like Anticipation. Anticipation for something great.

It came that Monday afternoon. After a weekend of frustration, a deprived night of sleep, and an emotional morning, my saving grace manifested itself. As I trudged to training in La Salle Main, I saw a familiar face. Somehow, I knew it before I said the words out loud.

He was visiting his friends in Taft. I felt a pang. He said he'd tell me when he'll be visiting. I voiced my feelings in a comic way so as not to reveal any more than I should. To my relief, he was planning on a second visit. On Wednesday, he would be watching his friend's gig in SDA, my building. Whilst I was having a conversation with him physically, I was having my own conversation inside my head. He's visiting again! He'll be in my building! Adrenaline surged through my veins. It was like being replenished after a hard day's work- something I really needed. I felt like the day that had passed had been dull- black and white

...until that moment.

It seemed like, in a crowd, my eyes were searching for you. And once I did, vivid colors flood my sight, rendering everything as bright and as beautiful and worth living for as compared to the past.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Never Again

I will NEVER EVER team up with you again! You can't be relied on, you can't be trusted to do your part, and you don't have ANY common sense!! You just might be one of the most dense people I've EVER met yet!!

I'm sorry but I'm definitely not the person who has the patience to be spending time with a person who has a mind of sloth. :|

Saturday, October 18, 2008


A word that can apply to any instituition.

Even Family.

Friday, October 10, 2008


YAY! I have a new book to read! The 3rd installment of the Eragon series! Whooo! So far, I've read a couple of chapters. The story's unraveling itself well. Nica, I suggest you read this book. Have you even read Eldest? hahaha. Read the 2nd one first before the 3rd. They're equally enthralling and good.

Nica, namimiss kita. Kahit na may accent ka, mahal pa rin kita. Kahit magaling ka sa pag-ingles mo, mali pa rin ang grammar mo pero ok lang yun kasi namimiss ko rin yun galing sa iyo. XD Sana makabalik ka dito sa Pinas sa Pasko! Ipinagdadasal kita! :)

Monday, October 6, 2008

Thought # 6

When you've absorbed all norms and social facts, you gradually change into one of the puzzle pieces that fit so perfectly to the big picture that is called stereotype. Nowadays, everything is a stereotype. Being unconventional has a stereotype too. Where has individuality gone? It became just another piece of the puzzle...

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Thought # 5

Ephesians 5:13

"But everything that is exposed to the light becomes visible..."

If i just center myself on His will, let Him light my way, then the truth will be visible, things will be clearer.

Yours Truly

Yours Truly