Dear You

Welcome to my head. What I write here is a product of instances, consequences, coincidences, and heartache. Here before you is my soul- my inner trappings. Yours truly, Her.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

WWI:This Family Is Not An Autocracy

STICK TO YOUR DAMN RULES, WOMAN. I've had it with you, you hypocrite. you procrastinator. Stop ruling my life! I'm goddamn legal and i will do every goddamn thing that i want. I'm not stupid enough to do shit that will bring shame to what's left of this family's reputation.

Screw your favourites! All the more reason for you to just let me go run wild, isn't it?! i hate you and i hope you read this. it probably won't affect you since you've done nothing when you read my diaries when i was a kid. was it guilt? i hope it was.

12:06 AM

wow. i was REAL angry. don't judge me. that must have been maybe....5-6 years of bottled up anger. maybe less. pfff, whatever. there's more where that came from. but i'll save it for another day because there WILL be another day. it's inevitable.

btw, i'm still grounded. no woot woot there.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Widget World!

I love Widgets! Because of them, my desktop is prettier. :)

Guess who's ungrounded tomorrow! woot woot!

Monday, April 28, 2008

Summer Sundays

Sundays. It was that day of the week when we used to cram all our homework for the following day. It was that day when we used to, in the end anyway, not do the homework. Instead, we cram it first thing on Monday morning. 

But it doesn't go that way during the summer. Summer Sundays mark the end of the week that began, and the beginning of the week to come. They are the minutes on the clock counting down to the end of summer. And today, we're a minute closer to autumn- to those 'memorable' sundays we used to have cramming our asses off.

Here's to summer. May we never hear or see the end of it. :)

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Looking Forward to...

1. May 24- Nica comes home!

2. Wednesday- my ungrounded day!

3. May 2/3- earning 1k for eating hotdogs and talking about them haha! moolah is my friend. we tight

4. SDA frosh orientation (May 12)- I'm meeting my blockmates! New people, new friends. No one's getting replaced though. :) Just adding to the tight circle

5. May 6- enrollment day, I'm getting my flowchart! I wonder what subjects I have for the first term...

6. GOING TO TETEL'S HOUSE! That pocketful of sunshine has guitar hero!! whoo! haha

7. having my hair colored and cut :) new 'do for college!

8. photoshoot!!!

9. learning how to drive :D

10. getting my boots from the states!

Friday, April 25, 2008

21 inuman

21+ inuman tomorrow. haha. We'll be complete because we will have Nica and Gab on Skype! wuhooo. Forgive the slow connection though haha. Oh, Pat and Sevi will be missed :( awww. not complete after all. demmit:(

I'm glad though that I'll be having it in my house...sorta haha. I've been under house arrest too long. It's just sorta sad that my house is so hidden and...secluded(?). I posted a map but I still think people will be calling me up. haha! XD

I HOPE PEOPLE FIND MY HOUSE. and I hope you guys have a way home:)


Chest X-ray's, College, and Fetch

I'm playing fetch with my dog hence the 'Fetch' part. I couldn't think of anything else, haha. Let me introduce you to my dog, Timmy. He has Labrador genes and he loves spraying his saliva on me. He's one and a half years old-still a puppy- and he's already MADE puppies with my brother's dog, Kim. :| hahaha, he's looking at me now like he knows that I typed that XD

Hennywaay, I got the results of my chest x-ray this morning. I have mild scoliosis. What the crap! Not to be boastful but I have the close-to-best posture in this family. >:| My twin has constantly been reprimanded for being kuba [my sister and my older brother too] and HE doesn't get to have "no significant chest findings save for mild scoliosis" printed on his radiograph report! >:| I'm really affected. I'd rather have mine say, "the visualized bones are unremarkable" than THAT *points*.

...well, I just thought of something. My back HAS been hurting and cracking more often than usual.haha. and I did fall on that last backwalk that i did during NCC training in Feb...and I did fall on my neck-which i heard crack- and on my back-oh, and that cracked too. And I remember I couldn't move them for like 2 minutes :)) maybe, just maybe, I brought this freakin mild scoliosis on myself. Demmit.

Oh well, what comes around, goes around.

My Fajah talked to me about college and how i should be observant during the first few months/weeks/days. He tells me:

"Since you're in-anong course mo?- ah, multimedia arts, you have to be very observant because it's a course that focuses on the audience. Parang advertising 'yan. Just be yourself. Don't get scared."
What if i tend to be introspective, Dad? hahaha

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Coming Out of It

Finally. After days of being cooped up and wallowing in my own sadness, the sun has come out. Nica made me happy! We got to talk at last! We caught up on each other's lives and I'm glad to say that nothing has changed.:) I wish we could've watched the sneak peeks of Twilight together. Like i said, we could've jumped up and down, screaming at every scene like children being tortured. HAHA. You're are loved, bestfriend!:)

After my angry episode last night, I realized how a lot of people can seem to make more sense than normal. Like with Julia, I swear, she is such a perceptive woman. She saw through everything. I even made her my editor-in-chief and my partner when I start a novel. haha! Thank you, Ju! Miss you seatmate:) Another person who put sense into me late at night was Paula. It meant a lot to me that she was awake till 1:30 am or something just to talk to me.:) Especially when she said, "Sure. I'm your friend. It's what i do.:)" Kilig na me, Paula! haha! Thanks again:)

OH! ohmygod, funny thing happened this morning. I swear, i get the WEIRDEST dreams. XD I will not divulge it here because it's embarrassing. But just to give you a picture of how ABSOLUTELY BIZARRE they are, here's one that i had months ago but is still etched in my memory:
i was fucking pregnant with the spawn of evil. i gave birth in a pool. but before that, i had to do a RITUAL which entailed two "guardians" from hell to do somersaults with me UNDERWATER.

oh god.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Just So Someone Is Happy

ikat gallardo: what did you want me to say?
josh araullo: mean in a slightly entertaining way
josh araullo: i dont know
josh araullo: stuff
ikat gallardo: josh is confusing?
josh araullo: josh is very good looking
josh araullo: i love that guy like a bitch
josh araullo: hahaha
josh araullo: cause everybody loves josh like a bitch
josh araullo: haha

and oh, thank you josh for listening. :) happy now? i'm too nice for my own good.

I Lost A Bet

I lost a bet in which the consequence is that i should write about Josh. :|

However, he only said that it should be long...soooooo

Josh studies in Ateneo.

He likes hot european women.

He is a he.

Should I keep on pressing Enter? :))

Just so you know, I will keep my end of the bargain if you TRY to do what you said you're going to try to do. :P I'm evil that way. haha

Disney Pop For My Best Friend

When destiny calls you
You must be strong
I may not be with you
But you got to hold on
They'll see in time
I know
We'll show them together!

'Cause you'll be in my heart (Believe me)
You'll be in my heart (I'll be there)
From this day on
Now and forever more
You'll be in my heart (you'll be here in my heart)
You'll be in my heart (I'll be there)
From this day on
Now and forever more
You'll be in my heart

I'll be with you!
I'll be there for you always
Always and always
Just look over your shoulder
I will be there

I am not apologizing to you

this is so sad. looking back at my past entries, I've been very angry. And sad to say again, this entry will be another angry/furious outburst. Forgive me for being weak.

Don't expect me to apologize. You've done this numerous times to your friends. Why are you so dumb? Seriously, when are you ever going to stand up on your own two feet and think? You make things seem so big. You know why? Maybe it's guilt. I don't know, you tell me.

Sometimes it's fine to just say "Ok, I will." I accept my mistakes and I pay for them. You, you avoid them and blame it on someone else. And you know who that someone else is? Your friends. I really don't know what to do with you anymore. You might have lost two now.

Happy Birthday Loups!

Happy Birthday to my Lover, Louisa!

I know things have been hard to handle but always know that you have friends around you. We'll always be here when the world seems to crash, when the sky seems to be falling, and when the ground seems to have disappeared under you. We'll be the world, the sky, and the ground just for you. :)

Take this opportunity to reinvent yourself. This is your time. Breathe and take it easy ok, love? I wish you all the best! God Bless!

Yours Truly



Monday, April 21, 2008

Suck It Up

jesus christ. sorry for taking the lord's name in vain but DUDE- what the hell? get your stories right. Don't start blaming your friends. And don't you even DARE demand for something when you don't have the right to. What the hell are you trying to get at? I hope you fix yourself up. At this rate, everyone will be fed up with you. I don't know how you're going to survive college. I'm really worried. I'm saying this as your friend. Don't look at it the wrong way. I care enough to tell you this.

Yours Truly,

Don't Do This

don't do this. That was the last thing i told You. Please come back. We haven't talked in days. It hasn't been normal you know. I hope you read this. I haven't told anyone and i hope i don't have to. You don't know how hard it is WAITING for your decision. Talk to me, please.

i wish you didn't tell me about your...hesitation. It made me feel like I didn't matter too.

Yours Truly,
your friend, Her

Sunday, April 20, 2008

The First

My very first post. To start this off, i made this blog so that i could get in touch with Nica. Also, it's a good way to blow off some steam once in a while. This way, Nica will be able to know what's up and i would be able to tell her, and the rest of You, what's up with my topsy-turvy life.

So, to give justice to what i just wrote, let me tell You what has happened so far post-bora. Forgive my vague-ness. I have privacy issues. Don't bother with the pronouns. It's part of the vague-ness too. :)

-My heart has been torn open just when it was plugged up.
-I'm on lockdown for the next two weeks making me vulnerable to power trippers and commonplace familial injustices.
-I've been thinking of You and how you'll be hurting me once you've made your decision.
-And You, when will you get it? You really are slow. :)

Yours Truly,

Saturday, April 19, 2008

If i can't go to outings, then outings shall come to me.

hallelujah. I was beginning to worry about how I'll be able to exhaust my summer with my precious friends. You see, I'm presently grounded for two weeks. Reason why? I'm going out too much. For the record, how many summers will i have before all my friends leave never to be seen again? my summers are numbered! Like everyone else's is! Geez. And they say that they've been teenagers. Time sure has changed. It's a manifestation that no matter how similar growing up may seem to the older generations, it's never the same. That's why they call it GENERATION. The number of letters in that word is proof enough of how far apart the differentiation gap is.

However, I have been graced by God with a cool grandmother. She has allowed me to have my friends over while she's out of the country. If it wasn't her house and it was my mother's, she'd do the opposite most likely. Sooooo, friends, pinoys, countrymen, lend me your calendars. You can crash my house.

Yours Truly,

Yours Truly

Yours Truly